cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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