what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
