Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
