why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
