oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
