I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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