If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
