I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
