only you would photoshop your dick
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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