he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
