I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
