if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Even my vagina gasped.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
