I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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