6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
