No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
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