So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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