Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
