May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
