Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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