He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
