so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
