my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
they call him Oral-B. enough said
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
