go do what you do best...puke behind churches
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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