Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
