that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
