Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
