I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Randomize
