I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
do nipples grow back?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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