i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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