Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
