Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
