Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
