Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
