Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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