Fuck appropriateness.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
it glows. i had to have it.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
