Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
