It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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