Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
