everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
