Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
