she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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