She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Randomize
