He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
