I wannas sexs uuuuu
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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