hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He felt like a one man threesome
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
