I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
