So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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