is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
