I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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