I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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