It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
