There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
