I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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